My little brother's birthday!

Tomorrow is the birthday of my favorite person in the world. My oldest companion whom I've know for all my life.my little brother Abel.

He's turning 21!!! hold up.....when did I stop being 21? now wait just a doggone minute...  googling  'how to slow down the aging process'..... botox came up quite a alot. yea.....I think i'll keep looking lol.

No seriously, Little bro is turning 21...wow. People aren't kidding when they say time flies.

I'm SO proud of him. He works his tukhus off everyday at Columbia university (yupp little bro is ivy league fly!) and is such a good hearted, kind spirited young man. He's been on Deans list since he started at Columbia which is really not a surprise to me at all. He is in his element. He was never confused about his path like I was. I had my artistic impulses pulling me in ten different directions since I was a fetus I honestly had a hard time figuring myself out until I got old enough to understand that I don't need to label myself. I am an actress, I am a painter, I am a song writer, I am a musician... I am. I'd never change that about myself for anything in the world but I've always admired the clarity and focus my brother always had from such a young age. I never had that. He loves to learn. that's his main passion and he has and continues to pursue his education with such dedication and enthusiasm that it's honestly fascinating to watch. His growth is so beautiful to me and I sometimes wonder if I tell him that enough....how remarkable and mind blowing he is to me. I wonder if he knows how I brag about him to everyone I meet....how I totally use the fact that he's a Columbia student to score cool points heheheh:)))

I wonder if he knows how loved and adored he is by his family, How we root for him everyday....how I carry him in my heart and that If I could wish for anything in this world, it's for HIS hopes and dreams to come true...for HIS hard work to pay off, for him to feel pride and content within himself...for him to be happy, at peace, joyous, vibrant and in love with the world and his life. All the hard work is only worth it if the endgame is happiness.  I wonder if he knows he's my little Rock Star. I'm right to wonder if he knows I care. I was very cruel to him when we were growing up to the point where I'm sure he thought I hated him. It's one of my deepest regrets that what my own internal struggles to find a solid ground to stand on as a teen turned out to be such an all consuming overwhelming battle that I took my frustrations over it all out on my family, mainly my little brother who had done nothing to deserve it and landed on the conclusion that I simply must just hate him. and you know what? even then he STILL showed up to support and love me.  I can't tell you how that makes me feel. I can't take any of those actions back but I can make damn sure he knows right now today how loved and precious he is.  

He impresses all his professors who get so surprised by his knowledge of the world at such a young age! My brother is a freakin living breathing encyclopedia ! My goodness, sometimes i'll crack a joke saying something that's totally incorrect and he'll start spitting out facts and details about things I have NO CLUE about. watching him and I have a conversation is one of the funniest things in the world.

Our mom is our homie which is awesome. I don't know a lot of families that are as close as we are. Our fights are no less than a 9.5 on the richter scale but we love harder than we fight and there aren't enough numbers in the world to measure how deep our love for eachother runs. we have each others backs always and that will never change.

I'm going to do my very best to make my little brother's 21st Birthday  a day he'll remember forever where he can feel special, loved and doted on by his family.

The little family that could. That's us baby. Happy birthday Rock star, get ready for some awesomeness tomorrow cause it's all about you handsome!

 Love/Deborah