I always wondered why it just felt so good after writing a very personal song (or painting, or writing a story) and I've recently realized its that I'm putting the emotions down on paper. I'm relieving myself of the burden and pain and putting it in a musical diary.
So i wanted to suggest...even if you're not a writer or don't consider yourself to be creative at ALL i wanna first say, i very much doubt that. everyone is good at something. being creative means is the ability to create. To me, if you're very good at loving, very good at being a good friend...that's the ability to create a bond. Many men suffer from lack of this ability lol.
JOKING! (sorta). everyone can create. With that said, I wanted to suggest that you write letters to yourself.
im sure im not the first to suggest this but, write a letter with all the weight that's on you. name all the things that trouble your mind. all the mistakes you think you made, anything that's giving you anxiety,fear, or sadness. write it down.
Id suggest doing this after you've had a moment with yourself about being true about this. we're very skilled in deceiving people and ourselves when it comes to feelings. Say "im going to write down whats troubling me'.
After you have written it down, take about 15 minutes where you either take a shower or have some tea. meditate while doing either. quiet your mind.
Then before looking at the paper again understand that there are things you can change and there are things you cant. Face yourself, don't be scared, deal with the things on that list.
pick one point on that list. if its a wrong you've done someone you no longer can reach out to and apologize, write a letter apologizing. commit though, if this person is still around...I'd contact them.
channel your inner Earl ( for those of you who don't get this, I'm referring to the TV show 'my name is Earl' who's character writes a list and goes and makes amends with everyone on that list. hopefully yours isn't as long lol)
Just make amends. it really shouldn't be something people do only moments before they die. whats the bravery in that? its certainly honorable but if you have the wisdom to do it waaaay before, then by all means, do get to it waaay before your time is up....yes?
if the person no longer is with us, i would write a very sincere letter and burn it. No one needs to see your list or your mistakes. its not about embarrassing yourself its about genuinely making peace with your mistakes and the people they may have affected. I think one of the hardest things to do is forgive yourself.
I JUST read a tweet from a friend who likes to post really interesting quotes. Today one of the quotes were 'many people have gone further than they thought they could, because someone else thought they could' free yourself from chains linked to past mistakes and negativity by facing them. you will make more mistakes, you're human. But if you can get rid of some bagage and emotional distress...why not do it?
move forward. Be strong.
Song of the day : Gabrielle 'Dreams'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O02kxh5NMSI
mom introduced me to this song. we used to dance to it infront of the tv :)
