Sunday, June 2, 2013

Just call me Heroin --

"--I'll be your drug. You like adrenaline? I'll be your rush. you like to push.....so come on baby push"

Obviously this was a fulblown Narci-sista moment. I loved writing this song and I can't WAIT to perform it live for the first time June 29th in Washington DC !

Check out snippet here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrlkcu5Bccc !


highlights for da summer!!!

Im going waaay lighter with my hair! i've missed that brown/honey color..haven't rocked it in years. This will be fun. I'll do it just in time for the June show in Washington . It's been a hot minute since I was on stage so i've been rehearsing extra hard. Plus we're including new songs so this is gonna be great...im SO ready!!!

Here are some pics of me a over the past few years with the blond/honey highlights....nice right?!







I ♡ Yogurt.

specifically  with walnuts and blueberry!                                                                                     best snack ever! and its healthy:) I know people are already familiar with with this delicious mix,
I just really thought it deserved a post...cause I just had some and suddenly life made sense lol. I recommend it with banana, (raw honey) and/or strawberries as well. 



Yogurt (plain) is good for your face too as a mask. super refreshing if you're anything like me and feel like death in the mornings lol. so yea.... I shoulda thought of that THIS morning........





JOY - Mom and Harry

She's like 'Xena the warrior princess' awesome. I dont know how we are so close still because our fights are out of this world. We really hurt each other. say mean things.  we used to.
Now our relationship is pretty good actually. We talked things out over sessions with a therapist. Opened up about our feelings. things we held against each other. it felt amazing.
I knew we had it in us to be friends, real friends.
She makes me laugh, her heart is so pure, she's made mistakes but she has without fail always been there for me.  mom is definitely My soulmate :)

Hubby is out of town :( Left late last night. He wanted me to twist his dreadlocks before he left so we were up all night. We have a blast in the tub though lol.  He's SO handsome. His skin color was beautiful -  although he had a black mother and white father he turned out pretty fare. gorgeous brown eyes.the sun in Miami had been pretty intense the past few days so he had a healthy tan lol.
We talked about his show, what songs he was going to sing. He was really excited about this particular show and I could tell he felt ready for it.

So anyway, Back to the story. Mom is my hero etc. etc.
She remarried a few years ago which made me so happy. I was worried she'd decided against ever trying again and feel awful every time she said 'im NEVER getting married again'. like its poison.
Her first marriage to my father sucked. he wasn't a good husband. I get where her attitude about it came from but she almost missed out on Harry. and I'm glad she found a man that was so out of this world kind to her. He's crazy about her and I adored the guy.
We did have the talk though after he proposed to her. It wasn't a talk as much as a look....I was all  if you hurt her I'll end you . He knows he better be good to her lol. and he is.
I thank god for him every day.
Anyway, Harry is off fishing with his friends (yea total old people stuff. Harry is old. Like 65. omg....im 65 in 38 yrs.....when did I get so old. whats happening?!)
Wow lets chill out. Aging is awesome! turning 28 will be awesome because thats when we've decided to try for little dudes and dudettes. I told hubby when we talked about it, that I wanted most of my 20's for myself. for us. We have fun we travel, we really like eachother lol. my husband is my best friend. I wanted to be financially stable, explore the world, be inlove everywhere and see things before having a baby. I was excited and ok with taking it on now. He was too.

Anyway, the hubbies are busy elsewhere anyway so mom and I are meeting up alone this time for dinner.but we had a girls day planned too.
otherwise we spend alot of time at eachothers houses when we're not traveling. Dinner is always amazing at moms though...she can cook!

We went to the nail salon, got out hair done, had sushi for lunch downtown, picked up groceries and cooked together like we have since I was born. My oldest friend is what she is. My longest partner and my teacher.
I've been very unforgiving towards her...even cruel at times. Im lucky she forgave me. and im glad we are this close again.

We ended the night with a Liam neesen Marathon. That man is gorgeous. we both gush every time he does that thing with eyes.

I love her. I'm so lucky.

P.s she quick smoking. It's been a year now. That Harry is very good for her . me likeee :)








Saturday, June 1, 2013

Narcis-sista I love my mirrors

I stared at myself....all day. I'm not kidding. from 10.30 am -4pm. It was awesome.


Heartbreak coma girl - Hooker in heels

I wish I was happy. But I'm not.
I don't know what it is about me that makes it so easy for others to treat me so bad. There is always someone more important. There is always a reason that seems to make total sense to the other person....for hurting me.
Even when I confront the person lying to me...they just keep lying. you might as well say 'I think you're stupid. I can sell this lie...even when you know better' It's like I don't deserve the truth so why  bother? what did I ever do to you?
My best is never good enough, i'm never positive enough, fun enough....just pretty.
Thats all they want me to be. 

"take the lie or shut the fuck up"....is it?

It's like I did something wrong for wanting to be treated...right.

how would you feel?

bum me a cigarette buy me a beer till im happy to be here...with all of my family..hookers in heels and the men who watch them...like hungry black eels.
That's what you made me feel like. A hooker in heels. Thanks. It's not like I was already hurting or anything. douche


Heartbreak coma girl.



Kiss ❤ Kiss By JOY


Text message from hubby : Meet me for lunch, I wanna kiss you

I must have done something epic in a previous life. I love him so much. He's perfect ❤